I laugh when I think and consider the ignorance of some. I know perhaps there is a small population that lives under a rock but I did not know that population was in New York, one of the most diversed and cultured places in our country.
I recently went shopping with my good friend Vanessa, who is expecting and the journey to mommy hood continues to bring us closer. As we walked into a local Old Navy a very cat womanesque, liposuctioned face older lady approached us and complimented my daughter. Throughout the store we walked and this same lady approached us again. I made sure to hold tight the my childs stroller...who knows what this lady was considering as she ogled my daughter.
As we stopped in the back,once again this woman walked over and by now, my alert was up. However once she opened her mouth I knew she wasn't smart enough to kill a fly. She once again complimented Mk and went to tickle her foot and loudly stated "she got good hair". She noticed my hair being curly and long,to her definition,and questioned my race and the race of my beau. I could only laugh while poor prego Vanessa had to walk away...we all know pregnancy and laughter is a interesting combo. What put the icing on the cake was this..."is her father white...spanish?"
Now, why does hazel eyes and curly hair mean a mix of races to this lady? With all the shades and features of our people,why can't she just be a beautiful baby. It was as if she was trying to make sense of my child's beauty . I was not offended however. I consider myself black, although I am technically mixed with various island and afro Spanish blood. Why does race define beauty??!! Well it was apparent that this woman was very superficial and had the smarts of a red brick.
Thank you, I know my daughter is beautiful. She comes from many bloodlines of beauty,culture and wealth,not only monetarily but in God given talents to share. She will also grow to emit internal beauty in kindness, patience and other qualities. Beauty is not only physical and some may debate it is not physical at all. Stay beautiful my people. Yes I am talking to you. :-)
Sunday, July 21, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Be Polite and Do Not Bite
My previous post posted today was well overdue and I have some catching up to do. From baby and table foods/finger foods to this gnawing tooth she has peeking through her bottom gum...8 months, 1 bottom tooth and the strive to still nurse. Teeth do not mean wean and with that my nursing relationship will continue, with a few adjustments.
So for the past two months Mk has been slobbering on everything and gnawing, however she has recently reached a stage of oral fixation, where she is learning the world through her mouth. Since 6 months everyone has said she's teething and 2 months later she has a tooth. We are still going strong with solids, which are fun for us both. Everything from home made oatmeal with fruits for breakfast to turkey and veggies with quinoa for dinner. I try to limit the jar foods and she snacks on organic puffs and fruits. I guess with all these foods it was about time for a tooth to help her chewing.
So before this infamous tooth, Mk used togum me while nursing, however it was not painful. I would simply say NO sternly and cut the nursing session short so she knows one does not go with the other. Now I try the same technique, however it is more painful, as well as her want to nurse more has increased with the hot weather, as a way to stay hydrated as well as soothe. Weaning in America comes son after babies first few teeth,usually before the age of 1. The American Pediatric Association recommends nursing through the first 6 months, and the longer the better...there for I aim for the latter.
This process has just begun as well as the introduction of new foods such as salmons and oranges. I hope that Mk understands the biting hurts mama nor is it nice. The first thing to pop into my head after feeling her tooth was some level of sadness as if omg, my nursing relationship will soon end. However I have just begun a new book on nursing and weaning and it just confirms that weaning is not yet needed or best. All in all, I pray my nipples stay safe inthe months to come.
So for the past two months Mk has been slobbering on everything and gnawing, however she has recently reached a stage of oral fixation, where she is learning the world through her mouth. Since 6 months everyone has said she's teething and 2 months later she has a tooth. We are still going strong with solids, which are fun for us both. Everything from home made oatmeal with fruits for breakfast to turkey and veggies with quinoa for dinner. I try to limit the jar foods and she snacks on organic puffs and fruits. I guess with all these foods it was about time for a tooth to help her chewing.
So before this infamous tooth, Mk used togum me while nursing, however it was not painful. I would simply say NO sternly and cut the nursing session short so she knows one does not go with the other. Now I try the same technique, however it is more painful, as well as her want to nurse more has increased with the hot weather, as a way to stay hydrated as well as soothe. Weaning in America comes son after babies first few teeth,usually before the age of 1. The American Pediatric Association recommends nursing through the first 6 months, and the longer the better...there for I aim for the latter.
This process has just begun as well as the introduction of new foods such as salmons and oranges. I hope that Mk understands the biting hurts mama nor is it nice. The first thing to pop into my head after feeling her tooth was some level of sadness as if omg, my nursing relationship will soon end. However I have just begun a new book on nursing and weaning and it just confirms that weaning is not yet needed or best. All in all, I pray my nipples stay safe inthe months to come.
To Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child
As of this past Sunday my daughter was christened and officially 8 months old. She is actively crawling, pulling to stand up and growing her first tooth. This has been the beginning of my stern NOS and my serious faces so she knows I mean business. In recent times I have begun to think of what my parenting will be like when it comes to discipline and my beau and I have discussed this more and more recently.
I come from a family of harsh talks and swift slaps across the back of the head. Leather belts hanging behind the door weren't only for holding ones pants up. However, despite my upbringing I believe that this will not be my approach with MK. I aim to extend a hand of grace and love where she understands whats wrong and why she is being disciplined, not just chastised or emberassed. I also tend to be a pincher and plucker.
I have a few close friends with children around MK's age or expecting and it's interesting to see/hear all of their parenting approaches. At 8 months although beginning the understanding of no and the dos and donts, to slap a child or be physically harsh seems abit much for me. Imagining a child copying what I do is enough for me not to come off too aggressive and controlling. One day she will mimic my actions whether in play or reality, a friendship or relationship or on the playground or the work field. One's parenting leaks into all aspects of a childs life.
In the effort to love I hope I spare the rod and do not spoil the child.
I come from a family of harsh talks and swift slaps across the back of the head. Leather belts hanging behind the door weren't only for holding ones pants up. However, despite my upbringing I believe that this will not be my approach with MK. I aim to extend a hand of grace and love where she understands whats wrong and why she is being disciplined, not just chastised or emberassed. I also tend to be a pincher and plucker.
I have a few close friends with children around MK's age or expecting and it's interesting to see/hear all of their parenting approaches. At 8 months although beginning the understanding of no and the dos and donts, to slap a child or be physically harsh seems abit much for me. Imagining a child copying what I do is enough for me not to come off too aggressive and controlling. One day she will mimic my actions whether in play or reality, a friendship or relationship or on the playground or the work field. One's parenting leaks into all aspects of a childs life.
In the effort to love I hope I spare the rod and do not spoil the child.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Climbing Over Milestones
Since the last time I've typed, it has been an eventful month. Mothers Day has passed so hope all mamas were recognized for their love and dedication to their families. MK has become so busy that I haven't had an entry once a week as planned. Since being discharged from the hospital MK has had no issues, and has had a weird burst of energy since that night in the ER. I remember laying there with her that mid morning and she just popped up and played with myself and all the nurses, and since that night, all nights to follow has been the same.
When home in New York, we put baby down to sleep between 9 and 9:30 and she usually sleeps through the morning or wakes for one feeding, which I dream feed her to prevent her from waking completely. All has changed! Now I don't know if it is because all the relatives we are visiting are never ready for bed themselves, or now she knows she is capable of getting around. Whatever the culprit, she is tiring me out and grandmas, aunts and uncles can all give her back after an hour or two of her baby aerobics. She also finds joy in chasing my aunts puppy. She goes after his tail and giggles aloud when he passes her.
I think to myself if she is like this at 6 months, I will need some energy stored up in reserve for her toddler years. I have taken the time to date all her milestone accomplishments for her baby book, and so far this month she has marked the most physical milestones, as well as emotional, with some separation anxiety beginning. This has started some family members commenting about her becoming a "brat" or stating "how much she knows me" , which I now take lightly. No she is not a brat, but a baby and I would hope she knows me and this is the beginning to stranger danger. She has also began regularly eating solids and drinking out of her sippy cup. I love making weird combinations, which surprisingly she enjoys. I am looking forward to posting about these meals and the different baby gadgets I used to prepare them.
In a week alone, she has began to clap, crawl, sit herself up and trying to snap her fingers. I am sure if we tried to teach her something else, she would try it! Clapping she was shown once, and she mastered it. All we say is YAY and clap clap clap. Her newest attempt is grabbing the table or couch for support while trying to stand. First thing when getting home, we have to double check all outlets, table corners, and any other places for danger, which with a 6 month old, seems like everywhere. Coming from a very non- American old school family, child proofing is as simple is as easy as a harsh NO, however I rather be safe than sorry, secure instead of slacking.
If there are any mamas and papas out there, what do you recommend? How are your little ones reaching milestones and how has it changed your home environment?
When home in New York, we put baby down to sleep between 9 and 9:30 and she usually sleeps through the morning or wakes for one feeding, which I dream feed her to prevent her from waking completely. All has changed! Now I don't know if it is because all the relatives we are visiting are never ready for bed themselves, or now she knows she is capable of getting around. Whatever the culprit, she is tiring me out and grandmas, aunts and uncles can all give her back after an hour or two of her baby aerobics. She also finds joy in chasing my aunts puppy. She goes after his tail and giggles aloud when he passes her.
I think to myself if she is like this at 6 months, I will need some energy stored up in reserve for her toddler years. I have taken the time to date all her milestone accomplishments for her baby book, and so far this month she has marked the most physical milestones, as well as emotional, with some separation anxiety beginning. This has started some family members commenting about her becoming a "brat" or stating "how much she knows me" , which I now take lightly. No she is not a brat, but a baby and I would hope she knows me and this is the beginning to stranger danger. She has also began regularly eating solids and drinking out of her sippy cup. I love making weird combinations, which surprisingly she enjoys. I am looking forward to posting about these meals and the different baby gadgets I used to prepare them.
In a week alone, she has began to clap, crawl, sit herself up and trying to snap her fingers. I am sure if we tried to teach her something else, she would try it! Clapping she was shown once, and she mastered it. All we say is YAY and clap clap clap. Her newest attempt is grabbing the table or couch for support while trying to stand. First thing when getting home, we have to double check all outlets, table corners, and any other places for danger, which with a 6 month old, seems like everywhere. Coming from a very non- American old school family, child proofing is as simple is as easy as a harsh NO, however I rather be safe than sorry, secure instead of slacking.
If there are any mamas and papas out there, what do you recommend? How are your little ones reaching milestones and how has it changed your home environment?
Friday, May 10, 2013
Trooping To Her Testimony
We have decided to visit family in Maryland this week, and a day after arrival Mk spiked a 102.2 fever. Many may say wipe her down with a cool compress, give Tylenol or Motrin and watch it. However not in my case. At birth my daughter was diagnosed a very common genetic blood disorder, sickle cell disease. This disease is a genetic malformation in the red blood cells and the way it transports oxygen throughout the body. I have a C trait, found mainly in the islands and her father an S, found here in America, which makes her have hemoglobin SC, a less common form than the African American SS hemoglobin. Until now there has been no complications, we all stay faithfully in prayer and thank God for bringing us this far without any issue and her reaching normal milestones!
Despite no pain crisis, it is proper protocol for a fever over 100.4, for the child to be admitted into the hospital for one never knows how a sickler is handling possible bacterial or a viral infection. It is very likely that her fever came from her vaccines, which were given the morning before we left New York. However better safe than sorry. I thank God Mk is a trooper and although giving the doc a good kick with her drumstick legs when putting in ivy, she was just fine! All the nurses and docs adored her chunkiness and all stopped by her ER room to say hello.
My aunt brought us to Children's National Medical Center where service was great, we had a private room and were able to be discharged early because after routine ivy and meds were given, she no longer spiked a fever. She is currently on amoxicillin as a preventive measure to help her fight infection, and although docs and her dad says give it, I have my hesistation as the mama of nature that I am. This med is my compromise for now.
This might be our normal. I have nothing else to compare it to with my daughter. I pray this is not her story though and from this she gains a testimony so great, to reach, teach and bless others!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Do The Poo
This happens multiple times a week, and if we're lucky, multiple times a day. We have just started our journey into the world of solids....and very stinky poo. Slowly giving pears, bananas and avocados. Usually not a drop is left on the plate and Mk smacks to show her appreciation to the new tastes on her palette,much similarity to the way mama and papa indulge with every meal as if a rare cuisine.
Up until about 2 weeks ago, my 6 month old was exclusively breastfed, however the poop explosions still occurred. Now the only difference is more laundry and a tougher approach to the stains. It's pretty obvious though that besides the new foods, there's another culprit. Pampers pampers held the poo, but leaked the pee. Huggies held the Pee and occasionally leaked the poo. For the past 2 months its been obvious that Luvs doesn't luv her, but the frugal saving money mama in me refuses to let over 200 pampers go to waste. Another awesome brand which I have used as overnight pampers is Earth's Best, sturdy and supportive, while being organic and affordable. We have also done everything in between, such as BJ's, good ol' hand me downs.
The ironic part of Mks daily poos and possible poop explosions is that they never happen while on the go, but always right before stepping out the door. Apparently the trick to a good poo is to get her dressed, jacket, shoes and even to put her in her stroller and voila....poop. Papa always says she's just passing gas, until its up her back and caught in her growing curls. Now would I rather be late all the time or cleaning up poop while on the train all the time? In a wierd way, it still all works out.
:-/ ....apparently those sweet potatoes went right through her. And to think, I greatly considered cloth diapers. Thank God for the abundance of pampers we received up to this point.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
In The Eye of The Storm
I am giving birth to this blog exactly 6 months after giving birth to my daughter, needless to say, 6 months late. This typing should have occurred mid Hurricane Sandy. This clicking and clacking should have accompanied the clicking and clacking of thunder and lightening, each syllable of my typed words eased in with each moan of labor. The whooshing of trees and the falling down of limbs, to give my birth an orchestra natures sounds and Gods irony. Irony being that mid storm, such a calm natural birthing experience occurred. No screams, no drama...just peace.
My daughter was born 7:45 a.m, Tuesday October 30th, exactly on time. She was the calm after the storm. Born 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches to my petite 137 lb frame, about 25 lbs due to pregnancy weight. As the rain drops of Sandy dried up, after crashing across NYC, my tears fell to welcome new life, new beginnings and a new me.
Today I look at how time waits for no man. My stretch marks groove my body and my skin a bit more stretched than before. My breasts swollen from milk, mamas' manna, Gods natural food for baby. I am nursing a baby storm, who will one day grace this world with all her God given talents and dreams. My daughter, Mk, is rolling, trying to crawl and giving mama and papa all the smiles to brighten the roads ahead of us. Her personality is nothing like that storm she was birthed in.
There was nothing to prepare NYC for the damage done that Saturday through Tuesday morning, when the storm began, as well as my slow labor. There's a saying "Let Go and Let God" and that is all that could have been done, both NYC and myself, as land was uplifted and my cervix rippled apart, like the earth outside. Electricity knocked out but electricity ran through my whole being with every contraction. Nothing prepares you but faith, for a life altering occurrence, such as Sandy, such as birth.
This is my new beginning and the uplifting of my life as I knew it. Mothering, nursing and Sandy being one of many storms ahead, follow our journey to recovery, rebuilding and peace after the storm.
My daughter was born 7:45 a.m, Tuesday October 30th, exactly on time. She was the calm after the storm. Born 7 lbs 10 oz and 19 3/4 inches to my petite 137 lb frame, about 25 lbs due to pregnancy weight. As the rain drops of Sandy dried up, after crashing across NYC, my tears fell to welcome new life, new beginnings and a new me.
Today I look at how time waits for no man. My stretch marks groove my body and my skin a bit more stretched than before. My breasts swollen from milk, mamas' manna, Gods natural food for baby. I am nursing a baby storm, who will one day grace this world with all her God given talents and dreams. My daughter, Mk, is rolling, trying to crawl and giving mama and papa all the smiles to brighten the roads ahead of us. Her personality is nothing like that storm she was birthed in.
There was nothing to prepare NYC for the damage done that Saturday through Tuesday morning, when the storm began, as well as my slow labor. There's a saying "Let Go and Let God" and that is all that could have been done, both NYC and myself, as land was uplifted and my cervix rippled apart, like the earth outside. Electricity knocked out but electricity ran through my whole being with every contraction. Nothing prepares you but faith, for a life altering occurrence, such as Sandy, such as birth.
This is my new beginning and the uplifting of my life as I knew it. Mothering, nursing and Sandy being one of many storms ahead, follow our journey to recovery, rebuilding and peace after the storm.
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